Why It's Ok To Not 'Click' With Everyone

Mallory Musante :: Why It's Ok To Not 'Click' With Everyone

For the majority of our lives we focus a lot of what other people think of us. We’re conditioned to really want others to like us. And while we should all strive to be the type of person others enjoy being around, the practice of caring what others think of us can actually be pretty dangerous to our own happiness.

When we’re so focused on what others think and if they like us, we often end up compromising our own values and interests. How many times have you been in a conversation and someone says they like something and you say, me too!? Only to later think to yourself, I actually don’t really like it that much... not sure why I said that. This is because we’re trying to make a connection with that person and show interest in something they enjoy but we don't always stop ourselves. I'm not even sure we realize we do this half the time. But here's the thing, the world isn’t going to end if you disagree or simply say, yeah that’s not really my jam. For the most part, people aren't going to care or will actually appreciate your perspective. Plus, it helps form a more genuine connection with that person.

But even when we are being genuine, sometimes we don't click with someone else... and that's ok too. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or something wrong with them. It simply means you two might not vibe and that’s alright. There is absolutely no reason to try to fit a square peg in a round hole.

However, we often don’t even notice we’re not clicking with someone because we’re spending too much time trying to impress and connect with this other person. And this is where self-awareness comes into play though. Are you able to identify when you’re just being agreeable vs. when you are genuinely connecting with someone else?

After you meet up with this person, ask yourself a few key questions:

  1. Did you have a great time? Did you have a horrible time? Or just an alright time? 
  2. Are you dying to hang out with this person again or are you just feeling meh about it? 
  3. Do you find yourself responding to them immediately or do you take some time to answer them via text?

On occasion I've found that I've met new people and I can tell we're not totally vibing but they ask to hang out again and again. I find myself thinking, why? I get it, sometimes people have an off day so I'm more than happy to give it another shot but it becomes pretty apparent that we have little to nothing in common. This doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me or wrong with this other person. We just have different interests and that's fine. Or sometimes we have similar interests but still don't vibe. AND THAT'S OK TOO! 

Humans are dynamic. There are so many facets to each one of us. Nothing makes us more or less than another. They just make us, well, us!  

Instead of feeding these just "alright" relationships in your life, focus on finding those magical people that set your soul on fire. It doesn't matter if it's a romantic relationship, friendship, or any other type of relationship. There are people out there that are on a similar frequency. Your lives are on a similar path. You have similar values, interests, sense of humor, and life goals. When you vibe, you vibe and you'll know it. These are the type of relationships worth waiting for. Trust me. 

You can be the the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.

- dita von teese